OT: Corn Flakes & Milk
Thanks all---I am at a phase where water is horrible tasting (especially tap water)..I would rather have ho****er...I am sure I could have begged some more..I did let them know I had stomach surgery and needed to eat frequent meals and needed to have no sugar added drinks. Corn flakes, 2% milk, apple juice and peaches in a plastic tub. I went for corn flakes and a tiny bit of the milk.
Thank you all for the kind words- they do mean a lot. I don't feel like a good mom right now- but I know I am doing what has to be done.
For those who wanted more detail- This is the child that I am custodian for...we started to see mental illness symptoms creep in about 1 year after we knew she'd be staying with us. She has gotten progressively worse- which I guess is common with mental illness during puberty and such. Sunday she was aggressive with my 1 year old- and we caught her doing it (she was only behind us at the grocery store but she thought we had rounded the corner and couldn't see what she was doing). She physically attacked me twice Monday. I wont go into lots of details- but we strongly have suspected between the symptoms and unfortunately biological mom has MH issues and long standing drug addiction. There are certain diagnosis they just won't give until they reach adulthood and several of them may be what is going on---they also said they suspect maybe that she has some form of cognitive / Developmental issue (I have long suspected it- but school denies the thought of it). I almost passed out when they told me the screen I filled out made them think we should check into autism (I fully admit not something I have learned a lot about-ignorance I guess)...along with her mental illness. I guess I shouldn't be surprised her brother has developmental disability (MR). If anyone has ever worked with a child with RAD (reactive attachment disorder)..this is part of what I strongly believe is happening in conjunction with other issues..But between no sleep, no idea is happening with her..it has been stressful.
Oh- and I should say I am a social worker---so I also feel like a big fat failure (which I know is normal--cause you can't social work your own family!) We literally may have to put her back into foster care---and that breaks my heart for her. We agreed to take her and her brother to keep them together and out of the system. People always ask how did we know them or their family --no we weren't relatives or family..we didn't know them at all---we were just people who saw two children who were trapped in a system and no1 wanted them..and they told us they felt they would not get a home together...so we just thought we were helping out. I keep reminding myself I also have to think about everyone involved and cannot allow her MI to destroy the other people and relationships in the house or jeopardize any-ones safety. Needless to say its been a rough day still- part of me is joyed that she isn't here (a break from the constant issues) but the other part of me is heartbroken. My stomach has been so mean and grouchy today---I vomited / had foamies like 3/4 times--not normal for me at all. Stress I suppose. Of course hearing her tell me how she misses us and wants to be home didn't help my stomach--but I was firm and told her we have her there so she learns and grows and that she can not come home and have things how they were- it just can not be that way anymore. I also did tell her the next step--so she knows I am serious. I hate being the mean guy but I also feel she needs to know its not all smoke and mirrors. I will do what I say (just as I did this time). I also added if she every did anything physical again- I would press charges with the police. Aren't ya sorry someone asked. LOL
Thank you all for the kind words- they do mean a lot. I don't feel like a good mom right now- but I know I am doing what has to be done.
For those who wanted more detail- This is the child that I am custodian for...we started to see mental illness symptoms creep in about 1 year after we knew she'd be staying with us. She has gotten progressively worse- which I guess is common with mental illness during puberty and such. Sunday she was aggressive with my 1 year old- and we caught her doing it (she was only behind us at the grocery store but she thought we had rounded the corner and couldn't see what she was doing). She physically attacked me twice Monday. I wont go into lots of details- but we strongly have suspected between the symptoms and unfortunately biological mom has MH issues and long standing drug addiction. There are certain diagnosis they just won't give until they reach adulthood and several of them may be what is going on---they also said they suspect maybe that she has some form of cognitive / Developmental issue (I have long suspected it- but school denies the thought of it). I almost passed out when they told me the screen I filled out made them think we should check into autism (I fully admit not something I have learned a lot about-ignorance I guess)...along with her mental illness. I guess I shouldn't be surprised her brother has developmental disability (MR). If anyone has ever worked with a child with RAD (reactive attachment disorder)..this is part of what I strongly believe is happening in conjunction with other issues..But between no sleep, no idea is happening with her..it has been stressful.
Oh- and I should say I am a social worker---so I also feel like a big fat failure (which I know is normal--cause you can't social work your own family!) We literally may have to put her back into foster care---and that breaks my heart for her. We agreed to take her and her brother to keep them together and out of the system. People always ask how did we know them or their family --no we weren't relatives or family..we didn't know them at all---we were just people who saw two children who were trapped in a system and no1 wanted them..and they told us they felt they would not get a home together...so we just thought we were helping out. I keep reminding myself I also have to think about everyone involved and cannot allow her MI to destroy the other people and relationships in the house or jeopardize any-ones safety. Needless to say its been a rough day still- part of me is joyed that she isn't here (a break from the constant issues) but the other part of me is heartbroken. My stomach has been so mean and grouchy today---I vomited / had foamies like 3/4 times--not normal for me at all. Stress I suppose. Of course hearing her tell me how she misses us and wants to be home didn't help my stomach--but I was firm and told her we have her there so she learns and grows and that she can not come home and have things how they were- it just can not be that way anymore. I also did tell her the next step--so she knows I am serious. I hate being the mean guy but I also feel she needs to know its not all smoke and mirrors. I will do what I say (just as I did this time). I also added if she every did anything physical again- I would press charges with the police. Aren't ya sorry someone asked. LOL
hero. I'm really glad your baby wasn't hurt and I know you will do the right thing for your family. I'm sending good thoughts your way. Please take care. 
(deactivated member)
on 5/5/11 12:36 am
on 5/5/11 12:36 am
U know what Jenn Ure my heroine ! I think what Ure doing is WONDERFUL .. and have no doub that Uve made a TREMENDOUS difference in the life of this little girl and her brother through your kindness and your love.
Of Course you HAVE to protect your 1 year old ... thats a given .. he/she can't even TALK !! and unfortunately undiagnosed MH issues Do have a way of being abusive to other family members .. particularly the most vulnerable .
That baby will Also thank you one day .
You would not be doing this little girl any favors to overlook her acting out .. its much better that she gets the help that she needs while it can really HELP her and change the course of her young life in the most positive direction .
Its amazing what strides have been made for mildly autistic children - I know one who is graduating from college and getting ready to live on his own in his own apartment while working . To talk to him you would never guess he had a real disability as a youngster . There really IS a LOT of hope but knowledgeable help IS part of the equation ... its WONDERFUL That U are getting that for Ur daughter !
Of Course you HAVE to protect your 1 year old ... thats a given .. he/she can't even TALK !! and unfortunately undiagnosed MH issues Do have a way of being abusive to other family members .. particularly the most vulnerable .
That baby will Also thank you one day .
You would not be doing this little girl any favors to overlook her acting out .. its much better that she gets the help that she needs while it can really HELP her and change the course of her young life in the most positive direction .
Its amazing what strides have been made for mildly autistic children - I know one who is graduating from college and getting ready to live on his own in his own apartment while working . To talk to him you would never guess he had a real disability as a youngster . There really IS a LOT of hope but knowledgeable help IS part of the equation ... its WONDERFUL That U are getting that for Ur daughter !
Thanks everyone- this has been very stressful. I wish I was a saint...maybe this would be easier. Its always been very important to her to make sure that my two custodial children feel as special as my biological children---they definitely have a spec ail place in my heart---but I have come to learn that MI can really do some emotional damage to those involved. Honestly, I don't feel toward her as I use to---I think I have compassion fatigue about the whole thing...now that's not to say I don't care about her (obviously, I sat all night in ER with her after she attacked me!). I just want her to be as healthy as possible...but I have learned a while back the safety of everyone is far more important then her feeling rejected. That will have to be an issue she works on to know her actions had consequences. Thanks again!
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